Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life : September 2014

Friday 19 September 2014

Funny Quotes Tagalog Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes Tagalog Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls Biography

Source:- www.google.com.pk

Nevermind. = Ang slow mo.

Basta. = Tinatamad akong magexplain.

Papunta nako. = Nagbibihis palang.

Ang lamig no? = Yakapin mo naman ako.

Kumusta ka na? = Miss na kita.

Still there? = Tagal mo mag-reply.

Joke lang. = Totoo yun, kahit papaano.

Artistahin ka. = In your dreams :)

Ayos lang ako. = Lambingin mo ako!

May problema ba? = Nandito lang ako.

Nasaan ka? = Gusto kitang puntahan.

Ingat ka palagi. = Mahalaga ka sa akin.

Ahh, Ok. = Ayoko ng ginagawa mo.

Ah talaga? = Hindi ako interesado sa kwento mo.

Sige lang. = Kahit ayoko, wala naman akong magagawa.

Bagay kayo. = Mas bagay tayo.

Susunod ako.. = Manigas ka jan.

Hiyang hiya naman ako sayo! = Ang kapal ng mukha mo!

Try ko. = Asa ka.

Ang tunay na estudyante…

- Palihim na nagtetext habang nakikinig sa teacher.

- Maagang pumapasok para mangopya ng assignment.

- Nahuhuling umuwi para makasabay/makita si crush.

Posted November 22, 2011 at 12:38 am 1 notes

Permalink

Minsan kahit hindi mo kasalanan,

kailangan mong magsorry para matapos na lang. :/

Posted October 22, 2011 at 9:55 am 4 notes

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PARA SA MGA BOYS! =))

Anong mas pipiliin mo?

A : babaeng boyish, madaldal, makulet,maingay, hindi kagandahan, ung tipo ng babaeng nakakainis, pero kakaiba at minsan hinahanap hanap mo.

B: babaeng conservative, tahimik, simple lang.

Cute, Babae na madalas type ng mga lalake.

C: babae na sobrang ganda, sexy&wild, mahilig sa g-mik, in short “hot” .ung tipong pinapangarap ng kalalakihan.

D : babaeng ubod ng sunget ni hindi mo magawang lapitan, nakakatakot ligawan, pero napakaganda.

SAGOT AGAD!

Posted October 22, 2011 at 9:54 am 3 notes

Permalink

Yung feeling na…

hindi mo ipinapahalata na gusto mo siya tapos etong mga maiingay mong kaibigan eh isinisigaw ang pangalan mo sabay ‘AYIEEEE’ pag dadaan siya.

Posted October 8, 2011 at 8:16 am 1 notes

Permalink

Totoo ba ito?:

Nanliligaw pa lang:

“Hmmm. Pwede ba kitang ihatid?”

Naging magboyfriend na:

“So… Pwede na kitang ihatid everyday?”

3-6 months:

“Sige, hatid ‘NALANG’ kita.”

6 months -1 year:

“Uhmmm… Hatid pa ba kita? Kaw? Papahatid ka pa?”

1 year -up:

“Text mo na lang ako pag nakauwi ka na.”

Posted September 24, 2011 at 4:16 am 5 notes

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Ang mga Lalake

MAGALING MAGTAGO ng

sikreto

kaya lang

MAS MAGALING ang mga babae na gumawa ng paraan para malaman yun :))

Posted September 21, 2011 at 2:04 am 4 notes

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DALAWANG DAHILAN KUNG BAKIT NAGSE-SAVE TAYO NG TEXT MESSAGE.

-Importante o may halaga para sa atin ang laman ng text.

-Importante sa atin ang sender kahit walang kwenta ang text. lalo na kung si crush ang nag txt kahit “hi” lng hindi agad binubura :)

Posted September 15, 2011 at 2:49 am 1 notes

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May mga bagay na talagang mali sa simula.

Pero pag na umpisahan mo ng ipaglaban, unti-unti ng nagiging tama.

Funny Quotes Tagalog Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls

Best Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls

Best Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls Biography

Source:- www.google.com.pk

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Margaret Mead

Everyone, Remember, Unique Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. - Elbert Hubbard

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

Life, Alive, Seriously People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. - Isaac Asimov

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Isaac Asimov

Great, Annoyance

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

Ron White

Life, Somebody, Party Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don Marquis

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Don Marquis

Art, Yesterday, Keeping

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Robin Williams

Call, Hour, Moves

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Lana Turner

Money, Woman, Successful

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein

Nice, Girl, Seems Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Mark Twain

Facts, Please, Distort

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Joan Rivers

Hate, Again, Start

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Steve Martin

Night, Sunshine

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

Theodore Roosevelt

Trouble, Sit, Month

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

Robin Williams

Sorry, Agree

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Jim Carrey

Great, Woman, Her

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Mitch Hedberg

Fake, Water, Died

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

Oliver Herford

Mind, Woman, Often

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

Carl Sandburg

Idealist

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Joan Rivers

Knew, Baby, Radio

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Mark Twain

Hell, Company, Heaven

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Bill Cosby

Wise, Stupid, Word

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Rodney Dangerfield

Found, Fat, Hang

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Ellen DeGeneres

She, Started, Hell

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Lily Tomlin

Somebody, Realize, Specific

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Elayne Boosler

Matter, Three, Somebody

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

Best Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls

Thursday 11 September 2014

Very Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls

Very Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls Biography

Source:- www.google.com.pk

Perhaps the only type of quote better than a wise quote is a quote that, while conveying some universal truth, is also witty. If you’re in need of a good laugh — and really, who isn’t? — then check out our list of the top 100 funny quotes of all-time.

Funny quotes are also good for making other people laugh; posting one of these quotes on Facebook or Twitter is sure to elicit many chuckles from your friends and followers. There’s a funny quote here for everybody: this list has everything from ironic statements and macabre jokes to bathroom humor.

Also included are interpretations, which attempt to explain just what makes each quote so darn funny– the interpretations also come in handy for that one clueless person who always says, “I don’t get it” in response to your hilarious joke. (Don’t worry, this list has funny quotes about those types of people as well.)

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1QUOTE

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

A photograph of Bob Monkhouse. BOB MONKHOUSE

INTERPRETATION

Interpretation: This joke is a play on the cliche of wanting to die peacefully in your sleep. This familiar statement takes an unexpected twist when we learn that grandpa was, in fact, driving a car full of passengers when he died “peacefully in his sleep.” As a result, those passengers did not die so peacefully! This type of joke, in which the second half of the statement is shocking or unexpected (usually making you see the first part of the statement in a different light), is also called a “paraprosdokian.”

2QUOTE

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Photograph of Elayne Boosler. ELAYNE BOOSLER

INTERPRETATION

Interpretation: This funny quote presents a clever idea that might possibly work: if you have multiple locks on your door and only lock some of them, someone who tries to pick the lock and assumes that all the locks are engaged will not be able to unpick them all (until, that is, they figure out that not all of the locks were initially locked).

3QUOTE

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

Photograph of Oscar Wilde OSCAR WILDE

INTERPRETATION

Interpretation: Someone who expects bad things to happen (a pessimist) will expect a negative outcome when they lend you money, which is that you won’t return the money. Wilde is saying that this make pessimists good people to borrow money from — because you would never be expected to pay back the money you owe them! The quote is funny because it pokes fun at pessimists (in reality, most people expect you to return money they lend you, pessimist or not) and assumes the reader is a dishonest person who does not want to pay their debts.

4QUOTE

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

Photograph of Mark Russell. MARK RUSSELL

INTERPRETATION

Interpretation: Most people are aware that the planet Saturn is surrounded by rings (you may or may not know that these rings are composed of ice and rocky material). Most people also know that airline luggage often gets lost. While the rings of Saturn are of course not literally composed of lost luggage, this quote is humorous because it makes fun of a frustrating experience many people can relate to — the airline losing your luggage.

5QUOTE

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

A photograph of Robert Bloch. ROBERT BLOCH

INTERPRETATION

Interpretation: This joke is of the bathroom humor variety. While many quotes about friendship are meant to be taken very seriously, this funny analogy takes a lighthearted (yet not inaccurate!) twist when it compares friendship to peeing your pants.

6QUOTE

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

A photograph of Steve Martin. STEVE MARTIN

INTERPRETATION

Interpretation: Here’s a classic “good news, bad news” joke quote from a master comic. It’s darkly funny because the “good” news is really pretty terrible, and the bad news is implied: once we hear the good news (that the patient is going to have a disease named after him), we already know the bad news (that the patient has a never-bef0re-seen disease). Disease is usually a serious topic, but tasteful jokes on this subject can be especially funny because they make us laugh at our fear of death, rendering it less terrifying.

7QUOTE

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A photograph of Lana Turner. LANA TURNER

INTERPRETATION

Interpretation: Quotes that laugh at the perceived differences between the genders (or gender stereotypes) are funny to those who enjoy this kind of humor. The joke here is that men are considered successful if they make a lot of money, but women don’t need to make money to be considered successful; they just need to marry a man who makes a lot of money.

8QUOTE

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!”

A photograph of Anonymous. ANONYMOUS

INTERPRETATION

Interpretation: The joke this quote makes is that elderly women are often crazy about the game bingo, so much so that an otherwise nice old lady might utter an obscene word if she loses at bingo. (Plus, most people find it funny to think of a “sweet little 80-year-old lady” saying the “F” word.)

9QUOTE

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

A photograph of Dave Barry. DAVE BARRY

INTERPRETATION

Interpretation: Taking a metaphor or analogy seriously — in this case, thinking a motivational statement like “finish what you start” applies to eating junk food — makes for a classic joke. This quote also makes fun of the vague and sometimes impractical advice one might receive from a therapist.

Very Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes To Live By Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes To Live By Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls Biography

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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Margaret Mead

Everyone, Remember, Unique Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. - Elbert Hubbard

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

Life, Alive, Seriously People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. - Isaac Asimov

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Isaac Asimov

Great, Annoyance

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

Ron White

Life, Somebody, Party

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Joan Rivers

Hate, Again, Start

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Robin Williams

Call, Hour, Moves

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Lana Turner

Money, Woman, Successful Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don Marquis

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Don Marquis

Art, Yesterday, Keeping

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Albert Einstein

Nice, Girl, Seems Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Mark Twain

Facts, Please, Distort

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Joan Rivers

Knew, Baby, Radio

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Steve Martin

Night, Sunshine

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.

Theodore Roosevelt

Trouble, Sit, Month

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

Robin Williams

Sorry, Agree

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Jim Carrey

Great, Woman, Her

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Mitch Hedberg

Fake, Water, Died

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

Oliver Herford

Mind, Woman, Often

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

Carl Sandburg

Idealist

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Rodney Dangerfield

Found, Fat, Hang

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Bill Cosby

Wise, Stupid, Word

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Mark Twain

Hell, Company, Heaven

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

Charles Kettering

Thinking, Able, Tax

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Lily Tomlin

Somebody, Realize, Specific

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Elayne Boosler

Matter, Three, Somebody

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Ellen DeGeneres

Funny Quotes To Live By Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes On Love Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls

Funny Quotes On Love Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog About Life Lessong For Kids About Girls Biography

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Breathes there a man with soul so dead, who never to his wife hath said, "Breakfast be damned, come back to bed." Anonymous

To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. Anonymous

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. Judith Viorst

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions? Lily Tomlin

Love is sharing your popcorn. Charles Schultz

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. Helen Gurley Brown

When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged. James Montgomery Bailey

There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach. Barbara Hower

Gravitation can't be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
Tim Allen

Teenagers don't know what love is. They have mixed-up ideas. They go for a drive and the boy runs out of gas and they smooch a little and the girl says she loves him. That isn't love. Love is when you are married twenty-five years, smooching in your living room and he runs out of gas and she says she still loves him. That's love.
Norm Crosby

My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine's Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside --- Made in Taiwan! Leopold Fetchner

If you love 'em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love 'em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you're in love. Miles Davis

When you're in love, it's the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.
Richard Lewis

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it. Helen Rowland

Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. Phyllis Schlafly

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
Professor Irwin Corey

Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other's minimum daily requirements.
Kathy Mohnke

Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. Joyce Brothers

Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you'd be surprise at the large number that re-enlist. James Garner

What's the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday. Cindy Garner

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else. Jean Kerr

Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don't; men hope women won't change, but they do. Bettina Arndt

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
Cindy Garner

My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. Jack Benny

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. Anonymous

A kiss is a rosy dot over the "I" of loving. Cerano de Bergerac

An arhaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. Bob Hope

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. Fran Lebowitz

A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. Spanish Proverb

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth! Chico Marx

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since. Arturo Toscanini

Don't make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain't. Anonymous

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?
Jean Illsley Clarke

Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. Anonymous

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. Pearl Bailey

He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. Ring Lardner

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. Rowland

Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms.
J. P. Senn

Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. English Proverb

If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. Katherine Mansfield

Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. Jewish Proverb

Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. Judith Viorst

Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
Franklin P. Jones

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something. Fran Lebowitz